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pseudowish
tomarrow: wake up early. paint all day. 4pm: critique seminar...have my work torn to shit by a bunch of people with less talent. return home at 7pm. throw a bunch of shit in a suitcase and head for LA...can't wait to get the hell outa here...

also in the news: i just got into an art show that is going to travel! the best part...the curatorial concept is based on a 1930s sex encyclopedia! right the fuck on! anyway, i think it's first date is in san fran, scheduled for march 25th. can't remember the gallery name...more on that later.

i was so depressed all day today, but things are looking up! up! and up! till it's outa sight!
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pseudowish
this is just silly, but fun and distracting:

http://www.thefrown.com/player.php?/wearerobots/gothbot
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pseudowish
last night meli, adam and i went to see blixa and f-space at studio z. it was a really awesome show! blixa did everything with vocal samples, then played them back off of pedals to make layered sounds. the results? my whole body was shaking...it was a really sensorial experience.

here's some pics of blixa:

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and some f-space:

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state: satisfied satisfied

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pseudowish
okay, i have a sudden need to bitch about several things. for starters my neighbors upstairs have been blasting jungle for the last 3 days and nights (even at 8am). i'm not fussy about noise, but my room feels like its going to cave it. word on the street is they're getting evicted though, so this problem should take care of itself. also, i have to move my studio from the really sweet big one i have at school to a smaller, darker, shittier one because it's my 6th semester and i shouldn't have one at all...the building manager is doing me a favor by giving me one at all, but it still sucks ass. so i have to move all of the extensive crap i've compiled over the last 3 years today and tomarrow...not happy about this!

but there are good happenings abound as well. for starters, i'm going to studio Z tonight to see BLIXA BARGELD, F-SPACE, SIXTEENS, BLACK ICE, SORIAH, NF ORCHESTRA! then tomarrow, i'm going to the second half of the festival at Bottom of the Hill with JARBOE, RED SPAROWES, SUBARACHNOID SPACE, and the after party at studio z with F-space. I'm really excited about this!

next weekend i am goign to go to LA. origionally it was going to be with loki and mellie, but i'm not sure if they're still planning on doing this. if they are, cool. if not, i'm still going to drive down there and stay with either jodie, smash and richard or josh (my ex)...gotta figure that out. whatever the case, i will be at das bunker on friday. that's my only club plan. other than that, i want to scope the gallery scene down there and maybe try to push my portfolio around, etc. if anyone else wants to go and split gas, i'm up for that.

i think the upcoming week will be a good distraction for me from the end of january...i hate this month. i've been really depressed (always am this time of year) because my mom died 6 years ago from last thursday....but if i get into working hard and playing hard, i can get this all off my mind, get through it, and be fine.

oh, my ex, mark, bought a motorcycle. i'm jelous of this but at least that means i'll be able to ride it around a bit. yay!
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pseudowish
i effin' love my classes this semester. two of my classes are being taught by martin schmidt of the experimental electronic group Matmos (yes, they toured as bjork's band on the vespertine tour and openned for her). the first is a technical workshop, where he's like, "tell me what you want to know, and i'll teach it to you"...so we'll be doing a lot of video, lighting, sound, editting programs, etc. it's cool because he's caitering it to us...i said i wanted to learn how to control and manipulate video clips with preprogrammed audio triggers (like if your playign live on your laptop and you want certain sounds to create certain visuals in a projection behind you...). he's like, hell yeah. protools can do that...i was shocked....i always thought you had to use maxMSP and jitter. go figure. the second class i'm taking is electronic music (also with martin). that's pretty self-explanitory...sampling, creating electronic music, etc. but i will finally get completely proficient with protools. i'm so excited about all of this. finally i am going to learn something new in grad school, rather than just makign my paintings and talking a lot of theory in classes.

today i have critique seminar from 4-7pm...after that, i should shoot more slides. but i also want to go out.
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pseudowish
i saw willie nelson at the fillmore last night, and omg, i had the best time! the man puts on an amazing show...he openned with whiskey river, which i love, and played pretty much everything i would have wanted to hear: georgia on my mind, if you've got the money (i've got the time), mama don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys, goodhearted woman, his cover of me and bobby mcgee....anyway...the list goes on. it was a really epic experience. and i've been to thousands of shows in my lifetime. also great about the fillmore: the free posters they print and hand out for most of their shows. anyway, here's a few photos i took at the show. they turned out really good:

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state: content content

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pseudowish
oh, wait, i think i like this version better....

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pseudowish
so i've been trying to come up with a design for an artist website for my work...the kind you show gallery directors, art dealers, currators, and other professionals...it's supposed to be a marketing tool, not a site to say "hey, check out the cool shit i do"....so i'm trying to make it look professional with a minimal (yet cool) design that fits with the work and doesn't overshadow the actual paintings. i'm posting the main site home page, so leave me feedback. let me know if it's too much, too simple, if the design is good or how it could be better....

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state: determined determined

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pseudowish
i'm going to see willie nelson tonight at the fillmore! i can't wait...it's going to be epic! thanks adam, for buyin' the tickets! and thanks for being the kind of person who can go see babyland and fspace one week, genitorturers the next, willie nelson, stereolab, meatbeat, belle and sebastian, ministry, etc. basically, thanks for being the only friend i have who can match my ecclectic taste! if you've got the money honey (i've got the time)...lol.

whiskey river take my mind!!!!!!!!!!!!

state: excited excited
aural confection: willie, of course

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pseudowish
"i had a dream that you were a river, but you weren't moving. and you were freezing. and i was standing over you crying"

my mom died 6 years ago thursday. i was in buffalo ny with her when she died. the ground was covered with thick ice and snow and it was one of the coldest weeks i ever remembered. she stopped breathing slowly..it took about 3 hours for it to slow until it stopped. finally her chest didn't rise anymore to take another breath. ever since then i feel like i am slowly freezing. eventually motion will stop, and i will be frozen through. but this will take such a long time. slower and slower breaths....and then nothing.

state: peaceful peaceful

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